Thursday, 24 January 2013

And that's what you call PAIN

And you were sure about the choice you had made, or is that you feel you owe me? so my tears won`t be in vain, what made you take away yout "I love you" and give them back to me, maybe neither of us is enough for you, our hearts you should let be. 

I question everyday how could you say you loved me so much as you watched me die inside. your guilt for her killed you,but mine you let ride? Thinking that maybe your happiness is all you had in store, how could you kiss her knowing you didin`t want her to be yours? How could thoughts even mention her name whaen you said it was I you adored? 

Could you really be that confused or were you just because you wanted both? Using me for he "Emothional stand in" while you honered by yout "oath", no one tied you to her but you stayed for the ride, complained tirelessly and begged me to oblige. "Please listen to my heart break of the mistake I`ve made" 
"But I`ll continue to live in turmoil, because her heart is worth your pain" 
"No its not that  want to hurt you but I`d rather you than her" 
"But sit tight and support me and i`ll award you with your turn." 

For months I put your feeling before mine and you couldn`t even see, taunting and shadowed promises were all i received, Expected me to fill her space when the title she still owned, How could you still call her baby and boo still has me thrown, you probably said "I love you back" but never meant a word, Kisses and intimate gestures makes me wonder when my fate will turn, Its either youa re cold or lying to me, because how an unturned heart could put up with this I cannot begin conceive. 

Was it the same with me before she became your "one" trying to mantain "us" till our fun was dune? How may "I love yous" did you really mean, and how many hidden messages did I fail to receive? How long did I make you happy and wasn`t i worth "trying to make it work?" Why did it take you so long to realize what I was worth? 

Will you feel like you need to stay here after our bliss is gone? Will you run back to her to fix what was wrong? Will you realize thath "I`m confused" is an excuse I refuse to buy? "Confused for too long" will be my reply. 

You lied to me and cheapened what e had. Decided what was right for me and made your own plan, forced me to find out the truth for my self. I wish I had heared it before I saw it with my own eyes, a day in history I`ve come to despise.


I wonder sometimes if you defend me or just take it stride, Knowing you, prbably, cwards do what they do, they hide, try to please everyone in spite of who they love, taking for granted I`ll just always be ere as faithful as a cold hand to a glove. 

I didn`t know what to think anymore, the more I learn the more I regret, do you love me because I`m just not her? or you need to forget? Should it escape my memories that you`ve chose her more times than you`ve chosen me? 

I was so inlove and I believed for the first time in my life he wouldn`t let me go, shattered when he told me his feelings didn`t exist, my desert like ducts couldn`t resist, my tears flowed from my soul long after my eyes couldn`t bear anymore, thoughts of you replayed over and over again, I could find no cure. 

So I sit here trying to love like I`ve never been hurt, but too many questions haunt me for this to even begin to work. where to go from here I don`t know. Maybe a new road my heart should go.. 

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